Posted by
Dave Kooker on Friday, April 04, 2008 1:27:39 PM
Why are women so tenacious about participating in Corporate America? Is it the job title or the salary? I have always found women to be extremely vain about their appearances and the appearances of their mates. They are visual creatures. I find Corporate America is very cruel to a woman’s physique. Typically after 20 years, a woman’s body size has ballooned out three times what her healthy size and weight that is considered healthy. In other terms, the woman becomes ‘Economy’ sized. I have to admit that I enjoy watching the different games women play to combat the battle of the bulge.
The most common game women like to play is to eat something healthy but nullify the healthiness with another food item. For example, a woman purchases a side salad with the salad dressing on the side and then finish off the lunch with an economy sized Snickers bar. It is a given that the woman has to make an obvious public statement how filling the side salad is. Who are we fooling? Eating a tiny salad and trying to make the obvious statement that she is full? The Snickers bar is then offered to the other ladies but no one accepts the Snickers bar to be accused of being guilty of gluttony in public. The woman takes a dainty bite of the Snickers bite in front of the other ladies and discretely takes the remainder of the Snicker’s bar to be devoured at a private time in her cubical or office.
Many times in the afternoon, I watch the ladies sneak into the break room trying to avoid her other obese colleagues. I always wondered if there is a secret schedule where the ladies are given a 5-minute window of anonymity for their secret afternoon purchase. Typically it is a diet coke and Milky Way chocolate bar because it has fewer grams of fat and calories. Consider it a light snack. On those rare occasions when the two ladies see each other in the break room, the ladies seem embarrassed and both run out of the break room empty handed. It is kind of like a Southern Baptist seeing a fellow congregation member in the liquor store in Copiah county Mississippi.
I have to admit there are some strong-willed women out there attempting to lose weight and these women like to spread their misery unto others. I can safely say that 95% of my lunchtime meetings are scheduled by large women. I suppose the women believes that if she is busy during the lunchtime she will be less likely to eat anything in public that she will regret. There really should be some corporate policy against fat people organizing lunchtime meetings. I should not be punished by proxy.
Even with all these public attempts to show how hard they are fighting the battle of the ‘Bulge’, these women continue to grow toward maximum density. On Friday mornings, the Friday morning donuts orbit their bodies. When the 5:00pm bell rings, I suspect these women make a mad dash for home, race out of the car, kicking down the front door, parking themselves in front of the refrigerator. I suspect the grazing continues until bedtime as I observe these ladies expand over time.
I really wish more women would work in the trades. Physical labor is healthy and really helps keep the body in shape. I personally would be more inclined to hire a female plumber than a male. A slender female’s plumber’s crack is much more appealing.
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