Posted by
Dave Kooker on Wednesday, February 18, 2009 4:08:53 PM
**Warning. The politically incorrect opinions expressed by this author of pallor will offend and may be considered hate speech by those of non-Libertarian persuasion.
In my case, cynicism gets worse with age because I already know the outcome from the types of participants in any given event. One begins to see the same patterns of behavior over and over again. In the past two years, I have compiled another Kooker rule to my list. It is Kooker’s law number 6.
Anytime there is a lunch provided at an event whether it is at work or at church inquire who is involved on the lunch committee. If the alpha female on the lunch committee has a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 30% or greater, avoid the organized lunch at all cost if you are NOT on a diet. Economy sized (fat) women always want to show in public how dedicated they are to their battle of the bulge and also want you to participate in their struggle also. As a healthy male who does a lot of physically activity, I am in good shape and do not have rolls of fat on my body. I want to enjoy a good heart clogging lunch that sticks to my ribs and gives me energy to support my active lifestyle. Guaranteed 9 times out of 10, the health diet lunch menu will be tuna or chicken salad with small side salads and unsweetened iced tea. I do not know how other healthy individuals feel about tuna or chicken salad but to me it smells like cat food.
The net result is I have to scramble around the table looking for crackers, rolls & butter, or some other small entrée that compliments the cat food smelling lunch that is edible and discretely discard the cat food smelling lunch. If employers and churches want more participation during their organized lunches, please consider us non-dieting individuals when deciding on your lunch list of options.
So I have now added a new Kooker law to my collection: Don’t Let Fat Women Plan An Organized Lunch. If you are curious of the previous 5 laws of Kooker please see URL:
http://dmkooker.blogtownhall.com/2008/05/28/a_list_of_dave_kooker’s_laws.thtml
For more articles on Dave’s Worldview
[Go to the main blog of Dave Kooker at http://dmkooker.blogtownhall.com ]
If you have any comments, which you do not want to post publicly, feel free to email me at dmkooker@yahoo.com. Please include the word ‘BLOG’ in the e-mail’s title to insure that the Spam filter does not automatically delete it. Profanity and comments about my lineage do not expedite my response to you……